


PINK MATTER

by privatequeers



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Genre: F/F, F/M, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Character, Lesbian WOC, Multi, PoC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:47:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24855586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/privatequeers/pseuds/privatequeers
Summary: EVE WESTLEY AND STEFANI JACOBS were always destined for bigger and better things.No matter how hard Stefani tried, she was always in the shadow and living up to the successes of her brother, Nate, and Eve couldn't get out of her narcissistic, seemingly perfect mother's grasp long enough to catch her breath. After their junior year of high school, the two best friends travel north to the Bay Area for the summer before senior year. When they come back, things begin to change... and their worlds are turned upside down.
Relationships: Cassie Howard/Chris Mckay, Cassie Howard/Original Female Character(s), Fezco (Euphoria)/Original Female Character(s), Maddy Perez/Original Female Character(s), Nate Jacobs/Maddy Perez, Rue Bennett/Jules Vaughn
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	PINK MATTER

**Author's Note:**

> All rights reserved. No part of this publication/work may be reproduced, distributed, transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
> 
> © privatequeers / T'oni T.

** SEASON 1, EPISODE ONE: **   
_"pilot, pt. 1"_

_song of episode:_ 'all the way down' by kelela

**— • —**

"Summer does something to the brain; it's intoxicating. Everything shimmers."  
— **Elin Hilderbrand,** ** _Summer People_**

**— • —**

**IN LIFE, IT'S ALL ABOUT** the choices people make and the consequences, or rewards, that follow them. In retrospect, coming back to the town they grew up in (and tried so hard to stay away from) after spending the summer away was a choice that would probably result in a consequence for Eve Westley and Stefani Jacobs. East Highland is a town that leaves a bittersweet taste in mouth — it's a vortex that spins and spins you until you can't crawl out of it, until you're just.. _stuck_. But on the other hand, the vortex gives you that rewarding rush, that euphoric feeling, and it's almost to die for. (keyword: _almost_ )

"I can't believe we're already coming back here."

East Highland was the last place Stefani wanted to be and the last thing Stefani wanted to do was see her brother; but she did miss her family. And, maybe, a certain fashion-obsessed Latina. _But we'll get into that later._

"Believe it, baby," Eve would never admit it aloud to anyone but she didn't want to be there either. "Now help me get the rest of this shit into my room." The last thing Eve wanted was to see her mother. Diana Westley worked as the head designer and editor of her very own fashion company, which meant hyper-focus on work and little-to-no focus on her children. Being the daughter of a fashion designer on the come-up had its perks but came with downfalls. Eve didn't have the time or room to make mistakes and, because of this, she never did. But that didn't stop her from liberating herself at a few parties, and in a few bodies, over the summer.

**_INT. WESTLEY HOUSE – PAST – JUNE 12th –7PM_ **

Summer is both the most liberating time and the saddest time in anyone's life simultaneously. Narrowed down, summer is the best of times and the worst of times. It's an end to the cycle of homework for a short period of time, but it also gives people ample time to be alone and sit in their thoughts or escape from them, both being dangerous for different reasons. And solitude is usually something Eve is very comfortable with, but tonight was very different compared to every other night. Tonight, she needed to forget the last 24 hours and to do that: she needed to be shitfaced.

**New Message Received!**

**kittykat**  
_r u coming to the party?_

**sent message:**  
_what party + when? i'm down for whatever_

**kittykat**  
_at cassie's house @ 8_

**_sent message:_ **  
_it's the beginning of summer wth_

**_kittykat_**  
_um duhh? it's to kick summer off w/ a bang (literally_ 🥴 _)_

**_kittykat_ **  
_anyway, dress cute bc ur girl is obvi gonna b there_

**sent message:**  
_cassie isn't my girl but ok_ 😒

**kittykat**  
_funny how i didn't mean cassie at all :)_

**sent message:**  
_suck my dick, kat :)_

Eve loved women but Cassie Howard was on an entirely different level for her. All of her life, Eve was told she was beautiful or smart or this/that and Eve believed that, yes, but _Cassie_ _fucking_ _Howard_?

Cassie was like a goddess among men and Eve would slay ten dragons for the simplest chance to hold her hand, or for Cassie to avert her gaze in her direction for the slightest of seconds; however, it wasn't like Eve didn't try or want to talk to Cassie— they had a few classes together, she had her number due to a project and they texted from time to time. But this was different. She was.. scared. Eve had never been in an _actual_ relationship. Like, ever. She'd been in "relationships", ones that lasted for a while but where she, unfortunately, loved more than the other person or it was downright just sex and nothing more.

Nobody took the time to actually get to know her. No one stayed long enough to see the real Eve. No one cared. Nobody actually _saw_ her. But, tonight, that'd change.

Tonight, Cassie would _see_ her.

**— • —**

**_INT. WESTLEY HOUSE - PRESENT – SEPTEMBER_ **

"...And that's the last of them!"

A bunch of boxes laid on the floor of Eve's medium sized bedroom. Posters of her favorite films and artists were placed with precision across her four, walls and butterfly lights hung from her ceiling to illuminate the room; her bed was made, her clothes put away in her closet and she still had the stuffed animal Stefani got her when they were younger laying on her bed. It was like she never left in June.

"Can't believe you still have this, dude. This was like.. freshman year!" Stefani exclaimed, throwing the pink stuffed kitten in the air and then letting it land into her lap as she lay on the bed.

"How's my little Evie holding up? How was summer?"

Diana Westley, killer of men and her poor interns.

If Miranda Priestly from the Devil Wears Prada was based on a real person, that person was probably Diana. When she walked into any room, no matter the occasion, she commanded the air around her and all eyes stayed trained on her just like the Princess she was named after. Eve was under the impression that she herself was a perfectionist but, in all reality, she was nothing compared to her mother. Diana was the type of person that if there was even the tiniest flaw? Scrap it, start over, push through and make it 10 times better than the first because of that one thing. " _If it's not perfect, it's not worth it_ " was the motto Diana Westley lived by and she placed it onto each and every one of her three children, but especially Eve.

Ever since she was little, Eve had to be the best. If she wasn't the best, she had to do what it took to be exactly that, or she was nothing.

"I'm good, Mom," At first, she thought to leave it at that and nothing else but with the way her mother gave her those big, puppy brown eyes, Eve had to give her more. "It was great, we stayed with some friends in the Bay and had lots of fun but I'm ready to get back to the grind, you know me." She didn't know why she was so nervous around her own mother but it was something she couldn't help feeling. Maybe it was the crippling weight of high expectations placed on her shoulders, but who the fuck knows?

"I'm glad you had fun. Now I want us to spend some time--" The loud ringing of a phone halted the words about to escape from Diana's mouth. _Business_. "Oh, just.. say hi to your sister and brother before you go anywhere else. It's work calling."

 _Of fucking course it is,_ Eve thought.

At her mother's wishes, Eve and Stefani headed down to the living room where Thing 1 (Summer) and Thing 2 (Dominic) sat. They were born a couple of minutes apart – Dominic being the younger one. Growing up, the two always butt heads and because Summer was "older" and an athlete, she got most of the spotlight while Dominic remained a supporting character.

"What's up, demons?"

"Nah, let's cut the chit chat," Dominic slid up to the two in his socks to the kitchen counter, leaning against it on elbows. "Are y'all going to the party tonight?"

"Um.. we _just_ got back—" Eve started.

"—What party?" Stefani interjected, intrigued. She wanted to get so fucked up that she didn't even have to go home to see her pretentious family.

"Mckay's. To, y'know, kick off the school year." Summer butted in, mouth full of potato chips. Summer was the wildcard of the twins, but she still kept her composure. She knew there was a time and a place and she kept her shit under wraps as to not make Diana's head explode. Dominic was an entirely different story.

"Uh.. I don't know about that.." Eve trailed off, popping one of Summer's chips into her mouth. Maybe if she was silent, they wouldn't have to go.

"Don't be a little bitch, Evie. You need to let loose." Stefani taunted, snatching a chip from her best friend's hands and popping it into her own mouth. "Besides, what happened to all of that manifesting, spiritual shit you were talking about on the ride back? All of that "good vibes only, getting in the right mindset" stuff? This party would be the perfect way to let go of the old and bring in the new."

Eve didn't know if she wanted to go to blow off stress in an unhealthy way or if she was partially evading the situation because she knew Cassie was _probably_ going to be there, who Eve hadn't seen since summer started and now school was starting up again. Sure, they texted and FaceTimed off-and-on the entire time she was away but what now? After what happened during the summer, what even were they, _if_ they were anything? A million thoughts raced through her mind but all of them had one common denominator.

**_INT. HOWARD HOUSE - PAST - JUNE 12th - 9PM_ **

The smell of sex, weed, alcohol and desperation filled the air. It invaded Eve's nostrils like a parasite and wrapped around her like a boa constrictor as she walked into Cassie and Lexie's house. Instantly, she was sucked into the hypnotizing atmosphere of the party.

"You look so good, _bitch_!" Kat squealed, barreling towards the 5'1" girl at full speed from across the room. Eve was dressed in a black Beastie's halter-crop, no bra, somewhat baggy Levi's and a loose black jacket and purse to go over her. She had purple eyeshadow with a bit of red-pink sparkle in the corners of her eyes coupled with winged eyeliner. She looked ready to conquer whatever tonight threw at her.

"You look better, _whore_ ," Eve laid two kisses on Kat's cheeks before pulling away. As she looked around the party, all she saw was people grinding, sucking face, smoking until their brain cells were just about gone or drinking until they couldn't see straight. And all Eve knew was that she wanted to be all of the above. "Now where's the fucking booze?"

Right as she said it, her eyes landed on the little makeshift bar in the kitchen across the room. All kinds of alcohol spread across the counter and it all called Eve's name like a siren trying to drag her down to her inevitable death. And she couldn't resist no matter how hard she tried. Eve was but a tempted sailor on a ship that had been overtaken by sirens that were named _alcohol_ and _escapism_.

"Be right back."

"Okay, bitch." Kat wasn't even paying much attention to Eve. She was too worried about the potential dick she was(n't) going to get tonight as she surveyed the crowd for candidates in her cause. So, without any real supervision, Eve made her way to the "bar".

There seemed to be no one in sight at the "bar" but Eve could hear rustling and bottles clanging from behind the kitchen island. And sounds of struggle.

"Hey, can I get a— Um.. do you.. need help back there?" Eve questioned, trying to peer over the counter. All she saw was a perfect ass in a skirt hoisted in the air as the person was doubled over, clearly preoccupied, and honestly Eve didn't mind the view but she _really_ wanted something intoxicating in her system. "Hello?"

"Sorry, sorry, sorry!" The person squeaked out as they, finally, rose from behind the island with cups and a fresh bottle of vodka. That person was no other than Cassie Howard and she was staring Eve right in her widened, brown eyeballs with a big smile on her face. "Okay, how can I help you?"

"Um, just want a few shots of whatever is strong that you have." Eve watched Cassie's hands as she poured Eve and herself a medium shot of Everclear and a juice chaser. In one take, she downed both drinks as did Eve.

And then another.

And another.

And another.

By this time, the party was still going but everyone was in the backyard — give or take a handful of people still in the house and the ones that had passed out, or left. The girls had migrated to the living room couch, taking shot after shot. Eve had stopped taking them a little bit after the first few but Cassie kept consuming. At this point, it was freaking Eve the fuck out.

 _Is something wrong?,_ she thought.

"I'm Eve, by the way." Eve broke the silence.

"I know, silly. We have first, third and, I _think_ , sixth period together." Cassie stated, about to take another shot when Eve snatched the cup away from her.

"Okay, _that's_ enough. You're gonna give yourself fucking alcohol poisoning or, even worse, die at this point." Eve half-joked. Cassie jutted out her bottom lip, batting eyelashes and big, blue puppy eyes at Eve. _Fuck, she's so cute,_ the former thought. As much as she enjoyed spending time with Cassie, Eve didn't want her to get hurt in the process of it.

"Oh, c'mon, _Eveee._ Don't be a party-pooper!" Cassie whined, pouting even more. She was really turning up the charm and really, _really_ close in proximity to Eve. _Fuck,_ Eve thought. _She's trying to kill me, she's really trying to kill me._ Granted, Cassie was only trying to get the cup Eve had pulled away from her but—

_'when it's good, i'm questioning you then i stop to take it in_  
_is my head in the way? 'cause my heart can't explain where we going now?'_

_—_ The soft music playing in the background almost sounded like white noise. It was like they were in a separate dimension compared to everyone else, it was their very own movie scene.One of Cassie's hands rested on Eve's thigh; Cassie leaned forward, half on top of Eve, reaching up to grab the cup full of alcohol. Little blonde strands of hair fell from her ponytail and tickled Eve's cheek and she could feel her chest rising and falling in tune against hers; Eve sat there, frozen, staring at Cassie while Cassie stared at her. In an ideal world, Cassie would inch closer and Eve would give her the softest, most tender of kisses and Cassie would melt into her arms. But her daze and the moment only lasted for so long—

because just a second later, some drunken idiot decided to bump into the couch causing Eve's hand that held the cup of alcohol to spill onto Cassie's front. And now her shirt was wet and see-through and Eve and everyone else in the room could see the hot pink bra Cassie wore. And Eve wanted the sweet release of death instead.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! I'm so sorry, let me—" The guy started, about to help but Eve just shot him a look instead.

"Who cares? It's just a shirt." Cassie interjected. And then she did the unexpected: she took her fucking top off and jumped on her table, yelling "party!" at the top of her lungs like a wasted white girl, which she in fact happened to be at that moment.

 _Yep, she's trying to murder me,_ Eve thought once again. Her face was burning up and she didn't have to look in a mirror to know she was blushing at the sight of Cassie like this. But then reality set in.

"Oh shit, _Worldstaaar_!" A douchebag yelled, taking out his camera to snap photos. Following suit with him, other people in the house began taking pictures and videos of Cassie doing the absolute most.

Snapping back into reality, Eve realized what was going on. Those people were _definitely_ going to post those pictures onto _Slut Pages_ and Cassie was _definitely_ going to feel like shit after. Eve had seen the videos and pictures of Cassie already but it didn't change her feelings or thoughts about the girl. It just made her feel bad and angry for her.

"Hey, Cassie, come on and get down." She coaxed Cassie, trying to grab Cassie's hand in an attempt to pull her down.

"Why don't _you_ get up here with me?"

_Gay panic. Gay panic. Gay panic._

"Cass, c'mon, stop playing and get down. People are taking pictures," Eve whispered the last part, trying to get her attention and fully grabbing both of Cassie's hands. Upon hearing it, Cassie looked around at the scene before her. People she didn't even know had their phones out, all pointed at _her_ , all taking pictures of _her_ , taking videos of _her_ and all _laughing at her_.

It was like Eve could feel all of the sadness Cassie was feeling in that moment despite her being wasted. And it made her heart hurt.

"Come on, Cass," Eve gently pulled Cassie down from the table and quickly took off the black jacket she wore, placing it around the taller girl's shoulders and making sure it was buttoned to fully cover her chest from the onlookers. "Fuck all of you guys, you're all piece of shit assholes."

The entire way up the stairs to Cassie's room, Cassie didn't say a word. She just sat on the edge of her bed, hands in lap and facial expression blank. Eve, however, spared no time in trying to help.

"Okay, _shirts_... _where_ are the shirts?" She mumbled, checking each drawer on Cassie's side of the room to find a big t-shirt to put over her. Finally landing on a big white t-shirt, Eve grabbed pajama pants sitting on the dresser and turned to Cassie. "Okay, do you want my help?"

"I'm not a _baby_ , Eve." Even when she was drunk and trying to be sarcastic, Cassie's voice still held an underlying tone of sadness.

Eve let out a sigh. "Just let me help you, okay?" After Cassie signaled that she consented with a head nod, Eve carefully lifted the girl's hands above her head, sliding the shirt over and on her body. She then handed her the pants for Cassie to put on herself, turning around and shielding her eyes.

"Done."

"Um, I have makeup wipes in my purse but they totally double as facial cleansing wipes too. Is it okay if I—"

"Yeah," Eve quickly but gently wiped the makeup and excess sweat off of Cassie's face with a wipe. Managing to pick herself up enough, Cassie crawled into bed, pulling the covers up to her chest. Her voice came out quiet. Part of her wanted Eve to leave to save her from embarrassment but another part of her just wanted her to stay with her. She wanted to feel whole and Eve was right there. "Thank you, Eve."

Eve just nodded with a smile. "It's no problem, Cassie." Trying her best to remain calm and evade, Eve began to put her things away. In other words, her buzz had been killed and she was embarrassed. She wanted to hide in a hole and never come out. She wanted to evaporate into thin air and apologize to Cassie a million times all at the same time. If it wasn't for Eve, Cassie wouldn't have gotten so drunk and been so humiliated.

"Eve?"

"Yeah?"

A deep exhale.   
And then Cassie said it,

"Could you, like, stay with me?"

**— • —**

**_INT. MCKAY'S HOUSE - PRESENT - 9 PM_ **

McKay's house party was already packed by the time Eve, Stefani, and the twins got there. People were inside the house, outside the house and even on top of the house jumping into the pool. The aroma of weed could be smelled from the porch. It was fucking crazy, and Eve almost loved it. (Keyword: almost)

When they walked into the house, it was like walking into the middle of a complete shit-show during the heat of it all. There's fluorescent lighting every where, a mesh of red-blue-white. People were wasted off of their asses, and Eve could literally see the spit swapping between everyone's mouths in every corner of the room. She'd have to take a highly disinfecting shower when she got home, she knew that for certain.

"Hey, I see Maddy!" Summer exclaimed. And there Maddy was: sucking face with a guy that wasn't Nate. But Nate wasn't any better than Maddy, considering he was all over another girl's neck and body parts all the same. No one expected anything less from the couple though. That was their thing, that was _them._ And it ate Stefani alive. It was written on her love stricken face that she would never truly be able to disguise as disgust, not when Eve could see right through it.

Eve felt for her. The way Stefani looked at Maddy when she wasn't looking was the way Eve wanted someone, anyone, to look at her. It was the way she wanted Cassie to look at her.

"Yay for the toxic couple, I guess." Eve rolled her eyes. The bitterness in her tone was evident and she didn't care to mask it for her best friend. She wanted her to know how much she despised her brother and by extension, Maddy. Regardless of the toxicity of that relationship, Maddy still chose to be a bad person and a bad whatever-she-was to Stefani and that was something Eve could never tolerate for Stefani.

"I don't get why you have to—"

"Tell Maddy to stop stringing _you-know-who_ along and get more brain cells and maybe I won't have to be like this," Eve cut her off, scoffing. Her little sister and Stefani could try and try all she wanted to convince her that Maddy was a good person deep, deep down and Stefani could act as though she hated Maddy but until Maddy herself showed that she was capable of good, Eve did not want to hear her friend's love-blinded excuses. "I'm going to get a drink, watch the brats."

Stefani groaned, throwing her head back in protest and then turning around only to find the twins nowhere to be found.

"Oh, _fuck_ _me_ , we just got here!"

**— • —**

After about 20 minutes of taking shots and doing body shots off of hot girls' stomachs and maybe a line, Eve _really_ had to pee. Like, her bladder? About to seriously burst. There had to be a room not occupied by horny teenagers sucking and fucking somewhere in McKay's house.

As Eve walked up the stairs, she noticed everyone around her was coupled up or hooking up or drugging and drinking away the fact that they were neither of those things. Feeling left out, Eve decided to text Cassie. One text couldn't hurt, right?

**unsent message:**  
_hey, where are you? i miss you_

"No, you dumb bitch, that sounds so stalker-y and desperate." Eve groaned, backspacing. As she texted, she opened and closed doors in an attempt to find the very much so needed restroom.

**unsent message:**  
_where are you?_

_Too demanding._

Another door. Someone sucking and fucking.

"Fuck, sorry!"

**sent message:**  
_hey, are you at the party? wanted to catch up <3_

Another opened door. Eve peeked her head in cautiously. "Hey, is there a bathroom in—"

"Aye!"  
"Close the door!"

The voices were familiar.

_Christopher McKay?_

"Wait, _Eve_ ?" _Cassie_.

Her voice was soft like honey, and it almost felt too sweet for Eve to be hearing, too sweet for Eve to be internalizing into her mind and body. It was like poison. Instead of the warmth that she'd felt all of the times she'd heard it before, she felt cold yet blazing hot with rage at the same time. The silence took over, lingered. And underneath the silence and staring, she could hear a million words that could've been exchanged between them. Eve wondered if Cassie wanted to talk to her too, maybe to apologize. But neither of them spoke a word, until the silence became too loud, so loud that it became deafening. But it was still too quiet, so quiet that Eve could hear the tiny cracks and strings in her heart breaking. And she couldn't take it anymore.

"Sorry, wrong room, I gotta go."

Eve needed to get the fuck out of this house. She needed to leave. She needed to get far away from Cassie and McKay and everyone in this town just like she did in the summer. She didn't need to go to school, she didn't need to go to college. Hell, she could live her life on the countryside, change her name and live as a lesbian farmer. She could pull a " _Gone Girl"_ right now and just disappear. No one really had to know and no one would really care either.

But sometimes things don't necessarily work the way people plan them. And sometimes things work just the way they were intended and meant to be. Simply put, the shots and drugs started to kick in and Eve felt heavy. Heavy in the heart, heavy in the arms, and heavy in the legs. And she just wanted to relax.

And that's how she ended up on the poolside couch with Rue Bennett.

"Uh... _okay_?" Rue started.

She didn't know why but Eve felt a pull towards the taller, doe-eyed, extremely high girl she'd landed next to. All she wanted to do was know more about her. Maybe it was the not-giving-a-shit attitude Rue exuded but all Eve knew was that, one way or another, they were destined to meet. Eve could feel it in her gut. Or maybe she was just too fucking high and sad and needed someone. Maybe Rue needed someone too.

Neither of them knew it yet but they were going to change each other's lives, one way or another.

"I'm so fucking High— I mean, I'm Eve."

"Sup, So High, I'm Rue. Wanna get even higher?"


End file.
